HOW TO REFRAME DATING SELF TALK

"Heal yourself, not just so you can thrive, but to ensure that people
who cross your path in the future are safer from harm"

– Yung Pueblo –

❌ “I ALWAYS GET REJECTED BY GUYS”

❌ “I’M NEVER GOING TO MEET SOMEONE”

❌ “I DON’T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH FOR HIM”

Any of this self-talk sound familiar?

Girlfriend, I’m here to tell you there’s a better way to treat yourself. Capiche? 💁🏽‍♀️

Us humans are really good at developing a concept of self based on our thoughts, experiences and world views.

A negative self-concept can lead to an ongoing negative self-thought pattern…which isn’t going to help anybody! Not you, and not the special human out there waiting to meet you and your awesomeness.

Cognitive reframing is a great way to start shifting those thoughts and beliefs to help you into a more positive mindset (this is my psych background talking here 🧠 )

Here are some pointers to get you started:

Self-talk

Cognitive Reframe

How can I get him to like me?
What if he rejects or ghosts me?
I'm not good enough for him
The same thing keeps happening to me. I'm always ghosted!
I hate the way I look. Is he going to be attracted to me?
Guys are so shit. I'm never going to find the right one. I don't even know why I'm going on this date.

Do I like HIM enough to explore this further? What I want is just as important
Other people's choices are not a reflection of who I am. I am ENOUGH.
I feel a little insecure right now but that's ok. I'm a great catch and I love these things about myself (make a long list!)
Is there a pattern here? How am I perpetuating this and what work can I do here?
I love my body. She does amazing things for me everyday. I am confident and beautiful.
Just because I've had bad experiences in the past doesn't mean that all single men are bad. I'm going to stay open and committed to my vision of an equal partnership.

And just because I’m all about your success, here are some journal prompts for you to reflect on. Bookmark 🔖 this page, and come back when you’ve got a bit of time and a glass of vino 🍷 in hand. These babies are really going to help you dip deep.

Is what I'm feeling about myself REALLY true? Is there any evidence of this?
Where in my past relationships or dating experiences did this way of being and thinking show up?
what new insight have I gained about myself through reflecting?
Who do I now choose to show up as? What thoughts and beliefs do I need to hold to make this a reality?

AN INVITATION JUST FOR YOU

If you’re struggling with your love life and are having “how-the-f-do-I-change-this” feels, I invite you to apply for my 1:1 Signature Program. Love Unlocked is a private coaching program designed for the woman who is ready to overcome unhealthy love patterns, self-sabotaging behaviours and tap into her inner Goddess to attract a soul aligned relationship.

Sonia Kapur-Taylor